In America, we don't use Celsius.

We use Fahrenheit.

Why?

Uh, hell if I know.

Because we aren't European. Because we are free. Because we actually work during the summer. Who knows? Who cares?

Nobody really knows the real reason why America switched from Celsius to Fahrenheit. And that's the beautiful thing. No one cares. We just know Fahrenheit is better.

That's why it's about time Celsius switches to Fahrenheit too.

Because Fahrenheit is better.

So I beg of you my fellow Americans, if you're going to keep drinking Celsius this summer, at least have the decency to cover it up with a Fahrenheit koozie.

"Who am I?" you wonder to ask such a thing.

I am just like you, a fellow hard-working red-blooded American who was drinking a Celsius one day and realized "Wow I love this drink, but it has the wrong name. This is America! We don't use Celsius here"

So I did something about it.

God bless you. God bless the United States of America. And God bless Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit.

- Publius, 1776